Police force

At night, the police goes around stealing thieves.

Endelig!

Mamma, når jeg blir far - ikke sånn brannfare, men vanlig far med barn - da skal jeg bestemme.

Eventyr

Det var en gang en liten fugl som prompet seg helt opp til månen. Der satt den i fengsel, og måtte nøkle opp låsen med nebbet sitt. Så kunne den prompe seg ned til mamman og pappan sin igjen.

Kalendergave

Mr T åpner gaven. Det er en liten nisse med rød lue:
- Se, det er en rødnisse. Da ønsker jeg meg en blånisse. Så de kan slåss. Og få masse blod.

Future predictions

When I grow up, I want to be a father. Named T. With white hair.

Good advice

Mum, you mustn't speak to Big Bad Wolves!

On language

Swedish is just Norwegian, really.

Untranslatable

Mamma, Ludvigsen er død og kan ikke komme hjem til familien sin.

Snilldum

-Mamma, hva betyr dumsnill?
-Det betyr at man er altfor snill.
-Du er snilldum.
-Hva betyr det?
-At du er altfor dum

Has anyone else noticed this?

Spongebob Squarepants is a cheese.

It's worth the trip!

‎-mum, we're going on a train journey!
-great, where to?
-Australia!
-excellent, and what are we going to do there?
-watch TV.

Fireman

Mr T jumps onto my leg and slides down it. I wonder what he's doing. "Using the fireman's pole!"

Spartacus!

Mr T's two (!) Postman Pat figures are fighting: "I'm Postman Pat. No, I'm Postman Pat. No I'M Postman Pat."

Italia

Vi kjører over dyptgrønne åser, forbi appelsin og sitrontrær, druerankene velter over gjerdene, solen steker, trattoriaene ligger strødd langs veien, magene våre er fulle av gelati, guttene skulle vært i seng for lenge siden, men er solbrune og glade og klare for neste middagsmåltid. Da kommer det fra baksetet (for første gang): JA VI ELSKER DETTE LANDET SOM DET STIGER FREM!

Sounds about right

"I told everyone you were dead, mum. But you may just have been sleeping."

Carnivorus

Chewing at a chicken's leg, he looks across the table: "Mum, what is chicken made of?" I hesitate, not sure if he'll be traumatized by realizing he is eating a dead animal. "Um, chicken is just chicken. Good isn't it?" Mr T rips the meat apart with his little teeth, holds the bones up in the air: "Is this part stuck to the bum?"

My best proposal yet!

Can I get married? Please mum?
Oh, I'm not sure. To whom?
To you.

Male bonding

Discussion in the back seat:
-Say "Real Madrid sucks"
-Real Madrid poo?
-Close enough, Son.

Waking

He tiptoes into my bed and lies twitching, points to his wide open eyes: "I can't sleep, look, I'm all open!"

Growing up

-What do you want to be when you grow up?
-Not a Robot.

In Antibes

Standing in front of a sligthly too "fresh" fish display at the Antibes markets: "Look, they're talking."

Toilet training

Resigned, on the toilet: "Mummy, my poo button doesn't work".

Art attack

I try to excite Mr T into a small gallery in Sollér: "These paitings are by a man called Miró, aren't they pretty?" Mr T gasps with (genuine) excitement. I feel (pretentious) pride as he leaps forward: "REALLY? Wow, what is it? A fire hose?" My heart sinks as I see my son in front of the wall-hung fire equipment: "Yes. It is".

Happy shopping in Mallorca

Getting my change at the pharmacy when I hear a loud clear voice: "Mummy, I peed!" Mr T stands in the middle of the shop, with his pants and underpants pulled down. Oh no, an accident, I think, but he is completely dry. "Where did you pee?" Mr T points proudly at the very cool hippo shaped potty in the store display. "There!"

Superhero

2am: tiny feet tap across the floor and jump into bed. A voice that can't breathe through a snotty nose: "I am sick". Cough. "Very sick". Short breaths, then a whimper in the dark: "I wish I was a Superhero".

Lunch

"Mum, I want chocolate." "You can't have chocolate for breakfast" Instant reply: "I'll have it for lunch."

Plight of the Biscuit

"This biscuit I have eaten, mum, will soon turn to shit." Sad face, thin voice: "I don't want to become shit, says the biscuit"

Evolution

"Yesterday, I was a Baby. Today I am a Boy." "Aaah. And tomorrow?" "Tomorrow, I will be a Woman."

Depends how you see it

-Please don't eat the snow.
-It's not snow. It's cake.

It's everywhere..

We're outside, pushing through minus 20 degrees, everything covered in thick, crisp snow, the cold biting our cheeks. I want an ice cream, says Mr T.

Woolen

Mr T rolls a woolen blanket around his belly and says "Look, I'm a sheep!"